Dirty clothes all over the floor, texting during dinner, forgetting to take out the trash for the third time this week, and leaving crumbs on the kitchen counter. These are some of the irritations that couples may face from day to day. Even though these are just small things that we feel we shouldn’t be so concerned about, it can eventually build and become stumbling blocks in a relationship. So how should we go about these annoyances without nagging and nitpicking?
Here are some tips for getting past the small stuff:
Get to the real issue. Usually it’s not the dirty clothes or texting that is frustrating you. There are underlying issues that are easily missed. Try getting to the bottom of whats really bothering you. Getting to the real issue also gets you to a solution quicker.
Consider if it really bothers you. Try letting it go and see what happens. Sometimes letting go of things that aren’t so important mean recognizing that you and your partner are different and have different ways of doing things.
Don’t dismiss. If it is something you really just can’t let go and get over then you need to discuss it with your partner.
Use a softer approach. When approaching your partner about it don’t attack them. Use an approach like this, “I know you work very hard and I appreciate all that you do. But it really upsets me when you leave your dirty clothes everywhere, it only takes a couple of seconds to pick them up.”
Be patient. Cleaning up after yourself may be easy for you but for others it may not come naturally. They may need some reminding and encouragement, so be patient.
Seek help from a therapist if you find yourself getting worked up about small things that your partner may be doing. A therapist can help you figure out how to get past the minor annoyances before they become big arguments in your relationships.
Call us today to schedule an appointment! (813)244-1251
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