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There’s a Word for That?? Pt. 2

Sam DiFranco

So in a previous blog, we gave you a brief definition of limerence. Just the definition of the term is not important, but rather it is more beneficial to find out if this state of being is healthy or unhealthy, rational or irrational, helpful or hurtful. If you recall, limerence is the infatuous start of a relationship. It involves euphoria, obsessional thinking about the “limerent,” and a strong sexual attraction. This can be a very exciting time for some people, however it carries some very strong consequences. While the feelings are similar to love, its really more of a psuedo-love if you will. The difference between limerence and true unconditional love is that limerence actually has some conditions. A strong component of the term implies a reciprocation of feelings and action from the limerent, or the other person in the relationship. What if this person does not share the same intense feelings? And what if your intense feelings are taking over your life? You may not be able to focus on work, and may be neglecting responsibilities you normally would take care of. You may start to lose yourself and put all of your time and energy into the limerent. In this case limerence does not show to be a very helpful state. Some researchers are even promoting limerence to be a DSM diagnosis. But why does something that feels so good have to be so bad? Well, that is a question to be entertained in part 3 of the series. Stay tuned, you wont want to miss the answer to this question!

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